If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
