wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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