11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize