im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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