either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
