Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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