I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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