chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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