these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
