I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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