You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
