I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
