His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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