There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
