I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
