Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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