ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize