Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize