when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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