You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
