Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
