Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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