Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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