I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
