conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
