You're so nebulous sometimes
id be glad to
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
