Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
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