I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
