I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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