I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
