No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i think i have two assholes
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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