so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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