After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
