He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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