they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
