Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
