Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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