I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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