if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Too much gin, very little bucket
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
