your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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