I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
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