I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
