Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize