Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
honey bunches of taint.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Randomize