Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
