My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Randomize
