Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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