Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
