So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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