sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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