I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
