All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize