If i come over, it means nothing
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Vodka?
Forever.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
