Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
