Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
