Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
