The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize