U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
