First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
