Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
