I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize